Internal Family Systems (IFS)

"IFS is a transformative, evidence-based psychotherapy that helps people heal by accessing and loving their protective and wounded inner parts. We believe the mind is naturally multiple and that is a good thing. Just like members of a family, inner parts are forced from their valuable states into extreme roles within us. We also all have a core Self. Self is in everyone. It can’t be damaged. It knows how to heal.

By helping people first access their Self and, from that core, come to understand and heal their parts, IFS creates inner and outer connectedness." - IFS Institute

What is IFS, really?

Have you ever thought or said, “a part of me this.... and another part of me that" Inside each of us live different “parts”: the anxious part, the perfectionist, the scared or angry parts, even the one that just wants to binge Netflix all day. None of these parts are broken — they’re protective, trying to help in the ways they know how.

IFS helps you notice these parts, understand what they need, and invite your calm, curious Self to guide them. That Self — your core of compassion, curiosity, and presence — helps your parts feel safe, seen, and heard. Your Self isn’t a part; it’s the steady presence that can listen, care, and help your parts work together.

As your Self gains influence, the behaviors and feelings that once felt out of control — anxiety, anger, overworking, bingeing — begin to calm naturally. You start moving through life with more freedom, balance, and choice, responding from curiosity rather than reacting from old patterns.

Whether it’s learning to soothe the anxious part, soften the perfectionist, or just live with more ease and connection, IFS helps you bring your whole self — tender, wild, and alive — into everyday life.

What it feels like in therapy

Working with IFS can look and feel a lot of different ways. Sometimes it’s like regular talk therapy — we reflect, we notice patterns, we get curious together. Other times it can feel deep and imaginative, almost like going on an inner journey. Some even describe the experience like a psychedelic journey at times.

We might meet younger parts of you that got stuck carrying pain from the past — often what people think of as “inner child work.” We might also discover parts holding heavy stories or burdens that don’t even start with you — patterns passed down through family, culture, or history. Naming and releasing those can be incredibly freeing.

Your body plays a big role here too. Parts often show up through sensations: a tight chest, a knot in the stomach, an ache in the throat. By paying attention to the body, we can hear what those parts are trying to tell us, instead of just pushing through or numbing out.

And yes, trauma can be at the center of it. The protective parts you may feel frustrated with — anxiety, anger, numbness, overthinking — sometimes developed to keep you safe when things were too much. IFS creates a safe space to meet those parts with compassion, and to finally tend to the pain they’ve been guarding.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Can I still binge Netflix?
Absolutely. That part of you isn’t “bad” — it’s protective. Maybe it’s helping you decompress, manage stress, or shield other parts from feeling overwhelmed. Once it feels seen and understood, it can relax, and you get to choose how, when, or if it takes over. Some days it might still want to veg out, and that’s okay — it’s coming from a protective place, not a “failure.”

Q: What about the part that yells at everyone?
That part is usually trying to protect you from hurt, frustration, or being ignored. Once it feels heard and safe, it often softens naturally. You may still feel anger, but you can express it with more choice, clarity, and connection rather than being hijacked by it.

Q: Will I ever stop feeling anxious or sad?
Those feelings might not disappear completely — and you don’t need them to be “gone” to be whole. When the parts carrying them feel understood and supported, anxiety and sadness usually decrease, and you can respond to life rather than react.

Q: Do I have to talk about trauma all the time?
Only if it comes up naturally. IFS isn’t about digging for stories or forcing memories. It’s about meeting the parts that show up now and helping them feel safe, heard, and understood — which often feels more like curiosity and self-discovery than excavation.

Q: Can I still be productive, happy, and successful?
Absolutely. IFS helps your parts cooperate instead of conflict. Once your protective parts feel safe and guided by your Self, you’ll find more clarity, focus, and energy for what matters most — without the same overwhelm, reactivity, or self-criticism holding you back.

Q: Do I have to be “fixed” to do this work?
Nothing inside you is broken. IFS works with the whole system — even the messy, wild, and stubborn parts — and your Self learns to guide them. The amazing part? As your Self gains presence and influence, the behaviors and feelings that once felt out of control often calm naturally, giving you more freedom, balance, and choice in your life.

Want to learn more?

If you’re curious, here are some resources you can check out:

IFS Institute (official website)
No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz (the founder of IFS)
9 Minute YouTube Video Intro to IFS by Derek Scott
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems Podcast by Tammy Sollenberger